My typically developing 14-month-old son has a new favorite sound, “aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhaaaaahhhhhhhh.” Sometimes it lasts for 10 seconds (if I am lucky), yet at other times it can be a matter of minutes coupled with multiple hand gestures, body movements, and semi-pointing actions before this nails-on-a-chalkboard sound ceases. So what do I do as his mom – exactly what I shouldn’t do – I figure out what he wants and I give it to him to halt his ear piercing verbal communication.
As I am handing my little guy his ball/toy/cracker/water bottle my inner conscious is telling me, “shame on you!” Would I ever reinforce this behavior with a student? While I would praise the child for attempting to communicate with me there would be other steps I would take:
1) Figure out the function of the behavior (why is my son screaming and disturbing everyone around us?)
2) Shape the behavior (once I figure out what he wants model a more appropriate behavior – for example, say “ba” for the ball that he wants, if this fails maybe introduce the sign for ball)
3) Reinforce positive behavior by intrinsically rewarding with motivation (once he says “ba” i will give him the ball as a reward – exactly what he wanted)
Today we are in gym class which is basically a foam mattress jungle for toddlers. As my guy climbs and slides I see out of the corner of my eye enemy number one about to be displayed all over the floor: beach balls. Maybe he won’t see them? Not a chance, in fact, the “ahhhhahhhahh” starts before I can even finish this thought. Hand in hand we approach the balls, “ahhhahhhahhahha” becomes louder the closer we get to the round treasure. I sit my guy down across from me, a ball in my lap and he roars. Now I have the attention of the whole class and I am starting to sweat slightly. “Say baaaalll,” “ahhhahhhahha,” “Say baaaa (gesture the ball towards his reaching arms),” “ahhhhahhh,” (regesture), “BAAAAALL.” Not only do I give him the ball I am holding after his enthusiastic, over pronounced version of the word ball but I find every non-used beach ball in the room to give to him. “Ball, ball, ball!” He won’t stop, he’s loving the word ball almost as much as the actual thing, and for the next 45 minutes that dreaded noise is gone….
To me it’s easy to be a mom and to be a therapist separate from one another. When I am with my son I’m Jen the Mom giving out as many kisses and hugs as I possibly can. When I am with a student I’m Jen the Therapist rewarding and reinforcing as much appropriate behavior as I can. What am I constantly telling moms of kids with special needs: follow my lead, do as I do with your child. As a mom and a therapist I need to practice what I preach. Maybe the lines between the two aren’t blurring enough, maybe my son needs more of mommy the therapist and my students need more of the therapist mommy. Regardless, what I do know is that being a therapist has made me a better mom and being a mom has made me a better therapist and that is worth all of the beach balls in the world.